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♪ The Simpsons ♪

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D'

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Aah!

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I am not cleaning that.

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Who am I kidding?

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Now, Maggie...

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when you grow up

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you can suck your pacifier
all you want.

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Extra mustard for Bart's

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00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:07,728
sliced diagonally,
not length-wise.

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Light mayo for Lisa,
cut off the crust.

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Double bologna for Homer...

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Where's my lucky red cap...

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Mom, I hate those
pimento things...

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Marge, I split my pants again.

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Ooh! Can I have
two sandwiches today?

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- Make them bologna...
- Mom, I can't eat those...

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One at a time!
One at a time!

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- Double bologna!
- No pimentos!

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- Don't forget to make it...
- Mom, where's my...

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That's enough!

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There you go, Lisa...
No pimentos.

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Bart, your hat's where you
left it... behind the toilet.

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Homer, I'll sew your pants,
but I'm out of bologna.

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- Thanks, Mom.
- Thanks, Mom.

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D'

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Videos to return

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grocery list,
flea dip for the cat

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Homer's dry cleaning...

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I think that's everything.

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Marge, can you take
my ball to Nick's today?

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A bottle cap got lodged
in the finger hole.

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Homer, I'm running late
as it is.

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Can't you just use one of
the balls at the alley?

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Alley balls?

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All right. Don't whine.

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Just put it in my left hand.

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Kids, hurry up or you're
going to miss your bus.

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- No way.
- Never happen.

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Well, I'll be damned.

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Mom, bart's making faces at me.

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It's a nervous twitch,

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and I'm a little
sensitive about it

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if you don't mind.

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Mom, he's doing it again!

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Bart, quit it. Quit it!

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Hey, quit it, quit it, quit it.

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Mom!

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Get... out!

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Fruit leather...

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tree fresh
imitation orange drink...

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Krusty brand
duck sausage pizza...

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Sorry lady, you've got
the wrong Nick's.

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You want Nick's
on the other side of town.

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I don't know what
Nicky's telling you.

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I haven't flushed a ball
in years.

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This miserable stress headache.

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Feels like there's
a rat in my brain!

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It's time for
another Bill and Marty

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classic crank call.

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Hello, is this
Mr. Justin Sherman?

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Yes.

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Sir, your wife is dead.

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God, no!

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That's right.

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She just walked through
a plate glass window.

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There's blood everywhere.

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But I just talked to her.

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Bart's making faces.

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Where's my lucky red cap?

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- Alley balls?
- Your wife is dead.

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I haven't flushed a ball
in years.

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Noooo!

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Look, lady, this better be good.

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This is Arnie Pie
with Arnie in the Sky.

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We've got big problems

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on the Springfield
Memorial Bridge, people.

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Traffic going waaay back
in both directions.

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And look out at the corner
of 14th and Elm

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'cause I just dropped my bagel.

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She's locked in the car
and refuses to move.

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Did you flash your lights?

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Yes.

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Well, I'm fresh out of ideas.

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All right!

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A chance to catch some rays.

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Come on! Come on!

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I got a body in the trunk.

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Mr. Genie, stop fiddling
with the buttons.

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Now you've gotten
chocolate all over everything!

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This is Kent Brockman

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reporting live from
Arnie Pie's traffic copter

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but I can assure you, this is
no mere morning traffic report.

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Hey!

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Face the facts Arnie.

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An overworked and
under-appreciated housewife

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has snapped and parked
her car on the bridge,

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refusing to budge.

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This reporter is now
going to be lowered down

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in the Channel 6 sky harness
for an exclusive interview.

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Hey!

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Hey sweetheart,
what's the matter?

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Not getting enough
of the good stuff at home?

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D'

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Let me through.
Let me through.

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I'm her husband.

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That explains a lot.

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Try to talk her out of there

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but don't put your lips
on it or anything.

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Hello.

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Hello!

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Is this thing on?

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Hello?!

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Homer, is that you?

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What should I say?

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Well how about, "Yes, it's me"?

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Yes, it's me.

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Tell her you love her.

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I love you very much.

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Awww.

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And...

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later tonight, I think you
and I should...

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snuggle?

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Ha, ha!

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Why don't you just wrap it up?

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Look, Marge, I can tell
something's bothering you

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but if you come out of that car

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I promise to do
whatever it takes

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to make it better.

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Please, honey?

131
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Okay.

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Cuff her, boys!

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Off the record, ma'am,
all the gals on the force

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- knew just how you felt.
- That's nice.

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Do you think you could
loosen my cuffs?

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No.

137
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Don't you worry,
Mr. Mayor.

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This little bird'll be cracking rocks
by the end of the week.

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Wiggum, you glorified
night watchman, let her go!

140
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But she broke the law.

141
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Thanks for the civics lesson.

142
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Now listen to me.
If Marge Simpson goes to jail,

143
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I can kiss the chick vote
good-bye

144
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and if I go down,
you're gonna break my fall!

145
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Word to the wise, Quimby.

146
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Don't write checks
your butt can't cash.

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Hear me loud and clear Wiggum,
you bite me, I'll bite back.

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You talk the talk, Quimby,
but do you walk the walk?

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I hereby declare today
to be Marge Simpson Day

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in the city of Springfield.

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They're like trained seals...
Toss 'em a fish

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and watch 'em slap
their fins together.

153
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Well, all's well that ends well.

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Good night, Marge.

155
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Many years ago
the Spanish explorers

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discovered a little
piece of heaven

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nestled in the
Springfield mountains.

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They called it Rancho Relaxo

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and so do we.

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Today, it's Springfield's
only two-star health spa.

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Swim, play tennis,

162
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or just sit
and stare at the walls.

163
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At Rancho Relaxo,
you're the boss.

164
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Remember, you can't spell
"Relaxo" without relax.

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Homer?

166
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- Homer!
- What?

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I need a vacation.

168
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What?! But, Marge,
we just had a vacation.

169
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Remember Mystic Caverns?

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I need to unwind.

171
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I know you do, Marge,

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but come on, you know what
our vacations are like...

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Those three monsters
in the back seat

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"Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?"

175
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And let's face it, I'm no
day at the beach either.

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"Marge, can I have
another sandwich?

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00:09:43,457 --> 00:09:45,251
Marge, can I have
another sandwich?"

178
00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:47,003
No, I mean a vacation by myself.

179
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What?!

180
00:09:48,462 --> 00:09:50,047
You mean we're getting
a divorce?

181
00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:51,549
Marge, I can change.

182
00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:52,842
No, Homie, no.

183
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I still love you.

184
00:09:54,176 --> 00:09:56,470
A lot of couples
take separate vacations.

185
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:58,389
Well, okay...

186
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but you have to swear
you're coming back.

187
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I swear.

188
00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:03,644
All right, then.

189
00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:10,693
Thanks again for taking
the children while I'm away.

190
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:12,361
Don't worry yourself.

191
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,530
We've got six months
of maternity leave

192
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we're never gonna use anyway.

193
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,366
Homer, can you bring Maggie out?

194
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:25,708
Wish I'd thought of that.

195
00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:30,880
She's starting to give.

196
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:32,798
Homer! If Maggie

197
00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:34,276
really doesn't want
to leave the house

198
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:35,485
maybe she should
just stay with you.

199
00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:36,969
Are you sure that's wise?

200
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:39,096
He'll probably trade her

201
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:40,765
for a beer and a nudie magazine.

202
00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:45,227
For your information,
I can take care of my...

203
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,939
See? Got her
on the first bounce.

204
00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:51,567
All aboard for
Shelbyville, Badwater,

205
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:55,279
Kettlestone Testing Grounds,
and Rancho Relaxo.

206
00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:56,822
Good-bye, Homie.

207
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:59,033
Good-bye? Where's
my clean underwear?

208
00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:00,159
Check the dryer.

209
00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:01,511
How often should I
change Maggie?

210
00:11:01,535 --> 00:11:02,995
Whenever she needs it.

211
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:05,831
Marge, Marge, how do I
use the pressure cooker?

212
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:06,915
Don't!

213
00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:14,173
♪♪

214
00:11:14,256 --> 00:11:17,134
This is Koma... W-K-O-M-A.

215
00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:18,928
Restful, easy listening.

216
00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:20,388
Coming up next,

217
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:23,724
a super set of songs
about clouds.

218
00:11:30,314 --> 00:11:32,483
Hello, Maggie.

219
00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:35,069
Sorry, honey.

220
00:11:35,152 --> 00:11:37,071
Mommy went crazy

221
00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:39,657
and went far, far away.

222
00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:42,368
So it's going to be
just you and me for a while.

223
00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:44,286
Just you and me.

224
00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:48,708
Kids, you haven't touched
your tongue sandwiches.

225
00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:50,292
Do you need something to drink?

226
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:53,003
We've got Clamato, Mr. Pibb,
and soy milk.

227
00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:54,088
That's all right.

228
00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:57,341
I think I'll just hit the hay.

229
00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:59,135
It's 12:30 in the afternoon.

230
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:00,428
I'm aware of the time.

231
00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:02,805
Lisa, you'll sleep in my bed.

232
00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:04,807
Bart, you'll be sleeping
with your Aunt Patty.

233
00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:06,684
In your bed?

234
00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:09,270
And I should warn you,
I'm told I snore.

235
00:12:10,604 --> 00:12:13,315
Ooh, Divorce Court is on
in 15 minutes!

236
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:16,235
I'm scared, Lisa.

237
00:12:16,318 --> 00:12:18,112
You think you know fear?

238
00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:19,989
Well, I've seen them naked.

239
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:26,871
Hello,

240
00:12:26,954 --> 00:12:28,497
and welcome to Rancho Relaxo.

241
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:31,959
I'm Troy McClure.

242
00:12:32,042 --> 00:12:34,086
You might remember me
from such films as

243
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,629
"Today We Kill,
Tomorrow We Die,"

244
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,673
and "Gladys, the Groovy Mule"

245
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:40,593
but today you'll see me
in my greatest role...

246
00:12:40,676 --> 00:12:45,097
Your video tour guide
to Rancho Relaxo.

247
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:47,016
Our tour starts
in your very own room

248
00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:50,227
where Relaxo-Vision offers you
the latest Hollywood hits

249
00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:51,979
and after midnight

250
00:12:52,062 --> 00:12:55,858
the finest "R" rated movies
Europe has to offer.

251
00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:58,068
Ooh-la-la!

252
00:12:58,152 --> 00:12:59,403
Today's selections are:

253
00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:07,077
Chef Rodrigo,
what are you up to?

254
00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:08,746
Taste for yourself, Troy.

255
00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:11,457
That can't be good for me.

256
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:13,042
It tastes too good.

257
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:14,585
That's where you're wrong, Troy.

258
00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:18,923
This whole pot
is only 14 calories.

259
00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:22,051
Gregory...

260
00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:24,303
where have you been all my life?

261
00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:27,765
Feeling tense?

262
00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:30,851
Then just push nine
on your phone,

263
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:33,896
then the pound sign, then 4-8-3.

264
00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:35,231
We'll do the rest.

265
00:13:38,692 --> 00:13:40,152
Come on, Maggie.

266
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:41,236
Nummy-nummy-num.

267
00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:50,371
Strained peas.

268
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:53,415
♪ Shakespeare's
fried chicken ♪

269
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,334
♪ Come gorge
yourself today... ♪

270
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,925
♪ Nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah,
la, la, la... ♪

271
00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:07,513
D'Let go!

272
00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:09,431
Mmmmm...

273
00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:12,768
Marge, it's times like this

274
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:16,188
I'm glad I flunked out of
that Mexican med school.

275
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:17,648
Hi, Barney.

276
00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:19,358
Thanks for keeping me company.

277
00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:20,359
No problem.

278
00:14:20,442 --> 00:14:21,944
Well, well...

279
00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:24,196
if it isn't little Bart.

280
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,073
Remember your Uncle Barney?

281
00:14:26,156 --> 00:14:28,200
Hey, Homer, let me hold him.

282
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:30,411
All right, but just be careful.

283
00:14:30,494 --> 00:14:34,206
Whoa! Someone smells stinky.

284
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:36,292
It's me.

285
00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:39,378
Bart, you really
shouldn't be looking

286
00:14:39,461 --> 00:14:41,171
through other people's things.

287
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:43,549
Find anything good?

288
00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:45,467
I said it before,
and I'll say it again.

289
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:46,552
Ay, caramba!

290
00:14:48,178 --> 00:14:49,722
Hey, Lis, bang, bang!

291
00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:50,806
Aw, Bart...

292
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,391
that's a blackhead gun!

293
00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:53,474
Eww!

294
00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:58,480
Best McGyver ever.

295
00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:03,861
Richard Dean Anderson
will be in my dreams tonight.

296
00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:23,172
♪ Go to sleep ♪

297
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:25,341
♪ And good night ♪

298
00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:29,553
♪ La-da-da-da, da-da-da ♪

299
00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:31,513
♪ Dee-dee-dee ♪

300
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,933
♪ Dee-dee-dee ♪

301
00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:39,021
♪ May your Christmas
days be nice ♪

302
00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:41,565
Good night, my little pork chop.

303
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:26,902
Maggie?

304
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,863
Time for your 9:00 a.m. feeding.

305
00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:31,073
Heh, heh, heh.

306
00:16:36,912 --> 00:16:37,955
Maggie?

307
00:16:38,038 --> 00:16:39,289
Maggie?

308
00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:41,917
Maggie?!

309
00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:44,920
Hoo...

310
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,257
Maggie!

311
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:49,383
Man.

312
00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:50,926
You want a bad night?

313
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,761
Try sleeping on one of these.

314
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,138
Barney, I've lost the baby.

315
00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:56,473
It's the worst thing
I've ever done.

316
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:57,766
Don't worry.
Don't worry.

317
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,226
You know what I'm gonna do?

318
00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:00,978
I'm gonna make you an omelet.

319
00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:01,979
Just help me look.

320
00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:03,772
Are you sure?

321
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,691
I make them
with two kinds of cheese.

322
00:17:05,774 --> 00:17:07,067
- C'mon!
- Whoa!

323
00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:09,486
Hey, Homer, I think
I've got her.

324
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:11,989
Come on!

325
00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:14,616
Barney, you're gonna
pull her arm off!

326
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,410
The sooner I get her out,

327
00:17:16,493 --> 00:17:18,454
the sooner we can have omelets.

328
00:17:35,929 --> 00:17:37,014
So, what's the verdict?

329
00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:38,599
Dear God.

330
00:17:38,682 --> 00:17:40,934
I can't even put a bag
over my head.

331
00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:42,603
Yes, you can.

332
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,649
Hello, I'd like the department
of missing babies.

333
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:48,859
Please hold.

334
00:17:48,942 --> 00:17:49,985
♪ Baby, come back ♪

335
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,487
♪ Listen, baby ♪

336
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:54,490
♪ You can
blame it all on me ♪

337
00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:56,408
♪ I was wrong ♪

338
00:17:56,492 --> 00:18:00,287
♪ And I just can't live
without you ♪

339
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,920
I guess I've done everything.

340
00:18:11,381 --> 00:18:14,051
By now you've seen what
Rancho Relaxo has to offer.

341
00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:18,347
But remember, we can't tell
you how to have a good time.

342
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:21,183
You have to tell us.

343
00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:24,436
As I said to Delores Montenegro
in "Calling All Quakers"...

344
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,438
"Have it your way, baby."

345
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:28,774
♪♪

346
00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:33,195
Hello, room service?

347
00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:35,614
This is Marge Simpson.

348
00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:38,784
I'd like a hot fudge sundae
with whipped cream

349
00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:40,828
and some
chocolate chip cheesecake

350
00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:44,248
and a bottle of tequila.

351
00:18:44,331 --> 00:18:46,959
Let's get out of here, Thelma.

352
00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:48,293
Okay, Louise.

353
00:19:03,350 --> 00:19:04,935
What do you want?

354
00:19:05,018 --> 00:19:06,728
I came to see the kids.

355
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:07,896
Wait here...

356
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,982
and don't steal any light bulbs.

357
00:19:11,733 --> 00:19:12,985
Dad!

358
00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:14,695
Hey, kids.

359
00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:17,406
You haven't seen Maggie
around anyplace, have you?

360
00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:21,869
Well, I got to go.

361
00:19:24,371 --> 00:19:26,039
Come on, kids.

362
00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:27,483
It's time to rub
Aunt Patty's feet.

363
00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:35,007
Hello, Gov'nor.

364
00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:36,800
Lube job while you wait?

365
00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:37,968
Don't touch me.

366
00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:47,519
- Yello.
- Hi, Homie.

367
00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:49,396
I feel much better.

368
00:19:49,479 --> 00:19:52,024
Listen, Marge...

369
00:19:52,107 --> 00:19:54,234
how would you feel
if I told you the dog ran away?

370
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:56,236
Homer, that's awful.

371
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,322
Well, I got good news for you.

372
00:19:58,405 --> 00:19:59,948
The dog didn't run away.

373
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,283
Well, good.

374
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:02,951
I'm coming home, honey.

375
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,762
You can pick me up at the
train station in an hour,

376
00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:07,247
and bring the kids. Bye.

377
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:09,499
D'

378
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:11,084
Please, don't jump.

379
00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:13,670
I know you're going through
some tough times

380
00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:16,715
but you have your whole life
ahead of you.

381
00:20:18,425 --> 00:20:21,470
Well, Marge...
Maggie was very young.

382
00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:23,972
It's not like we got
so attached to her.

383
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,057
No.

384
00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:27,476
Marge, isn't life funny?

385
00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:29,186
One day, they're babies,

386
00:20:29,269 --> 00:20:31,229
the next thing you know,
they're off on their own.

387
00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:35,943
Are you the man
who reported the lost baby?

388
00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:37,611
- Yes.
- Can you describe her?

389
00:20:37,694 --> 00:20:39,780
She's small...

390
00:20:39,863 --> 00:20:40,948
she's a girl...

391
00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:42,950
- Bingo!
- Maggie!

392
00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:44,743
Not so fast.

393
00:20:44,826 --> 00:20:46,828
You're wanted on three counts
of criminal neglect.

394
00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:47,996
You found my baby!

395
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,749
Thank you, thank you, thank you!

396
00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:52,626
Schucks.

397
00:20:52,709 --> 00:20:56,171
Just don't do it again,
you big lug.

398
00:20:58,173 --> 00:21:00,217
You're not going anywhere.

399
00:21:23,907 --> 00:21:25,659
Hi! Did you miss me?

400
00:21:27,369 --> 00:21:30,289
Never leave again!
Never leave again!

401
00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:31,415
Never leave again.

402
00:21:31,498 --> 00:21:33,292
I missed you too.

403
00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:35,015
And from now on,
I hope you'll help me out

404
00:21:35,085 --> 00:21:36,420
a little more than you used to.

405
00:21:36,503 --> 00:21:37,796
You got it, sweetheart.

406
00:21:37,879 --> 00:21:39,506
You have enough blanket, there?

407
00:21:39,589 --> 00:21:41,758
Well, I could use a little more.

408
00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:44,886
And sometimes,
I want a little time to myself

409
00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:46,030
and I expect you to help...

410
00:21:46,054 --> 00:21:47,347
Mom...

411
00:21:47,431 --> 00:21:48,640
I think I speak

412
00:21:48,724 --> 00:21:50,225
for everyone in this bed

413
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,811
when I say you have
nothing to worry about.

414
00:21:52,894 --> 00:21:53,979
Now, let's just try and get

415
00:21:54,062 --> 00:21:55,188
a little shut-eye. Okay?

416
00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:07,075
♪♪

417
00:22:50,077 --> 00:22:51,077
Shh!

418
00:22:54,414 --> 00:22:57,292
CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.